Racing Minds....

You know that feeling that your mind is on a race car track going in circles at 90 miles a minute??? Yeah me too. Sometimes it is a good thing. For instance when you are writing a book. Then you can get all your ideas down before they vanish into the abyss of forgetfulness. Or when you have a lot of things to get done around the house or work. Then you can get things done in a timely manner. Usually, when my mind is making it's rounds around the track it's not a good time. 

Like for instance, when I am trying to sleep. Seriously, I am not joking. My mind can be completely normal paced all day and then when I lay down to sleep. BAM! It revs its engine and speeds around the track! Like tonight for example. It is 11:15 pm on a Sunday night. I have work in the morning and here I am blogging about how my mind won't shut up! 

So I am laying in bed, after I have read a little in my book to "calm" my mind, and wouldn't you know it, I can't stop thinking. Thinking about what I need to get done in the house, thinking about my plans for the week, for next week. thinking about my book I am writing, So naturally when I start thinking about my book and the direction I want it to go, I have to get up and work on it!  Yes, this is the curse of the writer. 

So would I rather be snoozing away in my nice comfy bed next to me husband? Why yes I would, but no I am sitting here on my couch with my blanket and laptop writing. Ah, the never ending story of my racing mind!

To Change a Life

     How does one change a life? Well the answer is actually an easy one, You can't... This question has been on my mind and heart recently. Honestly I have never wanted to change someones life, well not in a literal way. Here recently God has laid some people on my heart, and I feel as though I need to play a part in changing their lives... 

     When we got orders to come to Delaware I was unsure of the reason why. After much time with God I think I have found the answer. I want my life to be different, I want people to look at how I live and see that I have something that is amazing, Salvation. I will be the first to admit that I have not lived like this in the past, but God has laid this on my heart. I know that I must strive to be different. I must live like no one else so that I can show people Christs love. I have been trying to achieve this goal since we moved here to our new home. 
      I have had many blessings since we moved here; 1. I met a friend who asked me to be her spiritual mentor, 2. in her doing so, another girl we work with has seen the difference and wants to do the same, 3. God has blessed and put my arthritis in remission, 4. We have made awesome new friends at our church! These blessings have made me realize that God does here my prayers and that he can change not only my life but also through me the lives of others. What a joy these last few months have been to see all the things that God is doing! I only hope that He continues to do amazing things through my testimony, and that I can keep myself in check and be the best mentor to Jasmeen that I can be. Please pray for me during this year and also for Jasmeen and Jennifer! 

Come to The well

There is this song from Casting Crowns called "The Well' and i think of that song quite often. It reminds me that in times of struggle and times when you think all hoe is lost, that you can go to the well of Jesus and he will sustain you. He has never left me alone to deal with my issues, He is always there for me!

Leave it all behind, 
Leave it all behind, 
Leave it all behind, 
Leave it all behind, 

I have what you need, 
But you keep on searchin, 
I've done all the work, 
But you keep on workin, 
When you're runnin on empty, 
And you can't find the remedy, 
Just come to the well.

You can spend your whole life, 
Chasin what's missing, 
But that empty inside, 
It just ain't gonna listen.
When nothing can satisfy, 
And the world leaves you high and dry, 
Just come to the well

CHORUS:
And all who thirst will thirst no more, 
And all who search will find what their souls long for, 
The world will try, but it can never fill, 
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

So bring me your heart
No matter how broken, 
Just come as you are, 
When your last prayer is spoken, 
Just rest in my arms a while, 
You'll feel the change my child, 
When you come to the well

CHORUS:
And all who thirst will thirst no more, 
And all who search will find what their souls long for, 
The world will try, but it can never fill, 
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

Yeah
Leave it all behind

The world will try, but it can never fill... leave it all behind

And now that you're full, 
Of love beyond measure, 
Your joy's gonna flow, 
Like a stream in the desert, 
Soon all the world will see that living water is found in me, 
Cuz you came to the well

CHORUS:
And all who thirst will thirst no more, 
And all who search will find what their souls long for, 
The world will try, but it can never fill, 
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

Lazy Days

Every now and then everyone has those days when they want to be completely left alone, and be lazy. I mean the kind of lazy where you keep telling yourself that you should get up and do something; like fold the laundry sitting next to you or clean the bathrooms that are nasty. Well today was one of those days for me.... After work I was completely lazy. Come to think of it, I have had these kind of days more often than usual. I guess because, well I don't know why but it is what it is :) Needless to say that tomorrow I will NOT be lazy. I will cook dinner, I will clean the house and will NOT around on the couch watching Netflix.

Please keep me in your prayers though. I have had this cold I can not kill and my back has been sore/hurting. Prayers would be appreciated!! Well until next time!

The end...The beginning....

     2012 was a hard year for me, I set out at the beginning to take back my life from the pain I live in daily. Well I did not know or never imagined the struggles I would face. Nevertheless I am here, in one piece! I prayed that the Lord would take away some of this pain and give me a chance to live a "normal" life. He delivered, just like he always does! God is so good to me, even when I doubt him and when I think that He is not listening, He is there and always good!
     The first part of the year was hard and a struggle to find some relief from the back pain I was in, but God provided a wonderful surgeon who fixed my back! I was able to have the surgery and everything went so well! I am still in therapy but that is a given considering I had major back surgery ;) It has been amazing to see the difference it has made in my life. The things I can now do that nine months ago I was not able to.
     During my recovery We found out that Jon got accepted to retrain and was being sent to Tech School, very exciting since it was an answer to prayer! June the military packed up  our things and shipped them to our new home, DOVER, DE! We moved in with mom and dad and he went away to school. Two long months later he came back and we had two weeks to be at our new home! I was scared, most definitely, but I knew that this was what God had for us and I had to accept it. Even as hard as that was. We packed the cars and made the long drive to Dover.
      So here we are, three months into our new assignment. We have a new church family, new jobs, and new friends. But one thing still stays the same, I have the same GOD! I had to find all new doctors of course and go through that whole process, which believe me is no fun! Jon and I have been talking about starting a family for a while now, and some things always come up that stop us. Main things were my health, that has always been the deciding factor of when we have a family. We decided it was time, but my body doesn't agree ;) About a month ago I got on my knees and prayed to go that he would do something about my health, because I really wanted to have a baby. I knew that I couldn't have one with two illness and a recent back surgery. A week later I had my follow up visit with my Rhuematalogist  and comes to find out, my arthritis is in FULL REMISSION!!! A complete answer to my prayer! I knew then that my God really does hear me and listens to my desires!!!
      So I am so blessed to say that my journey to take back control of my life was a success, not a complete one, but a small step toward a bigger goal!!!! 2012 was not easy, but here is to 2013 and it being an amazing year for the Rectors!!!!!

Defining moments

Sometimes we all have those moments in life where we can look back and say that at that exact moment are life changed, or at that exact moment we made a decision that changed something in our lives. I can say that I have only had a few, but I can say that here recently I have had some defining moments as far as my health and my life go!

When we decided to go ahead with this surgery it was definitely a life changing decision. I had no idea how hard this recovery was going to be! I knew that it would take some time to get my strength back and time to walk again, but I never dreamed that it would be like this! This journey that I started this year has been hard, this leg of it has been the hardest by far!

Because of the healing process that needs to take place in my back I cant take my anti-inflammatory (aka: anti- swelling :) ) medicine for the arthritis for six months! I also cant take the other medication until 8 weeks after the surgery. So needless to say that the last five and a half weeks have been utter torture for me! The pain from my back may be better but I have pain in my legs that is almost unbearable! I have to ice my feet multiple times a day because they are so swollen. My legs and feet look like pregnant people feet!

On Monday it will be six weeks since my surgery and I am still having to use a walker/cane to get around because I have limited balance on my own and my legs hurt so badly! I am still in therapy trying to get full use of my own to legs and full strength back which absolutely kicking my butt! Things have just been rough around these parts! My defining moment was last week on Wednesday I was sitting in church and talking to my mom about shopping for matching outfits and I thought to myself that I did not want to have a walker when I did that! and that was it! My moment when I said I want to go to therapy and tell them to get me off that thing! So I did, and they put me on a cane and started me toward a goal. Goals are what drive us toward our future! Goals are what drive us to our defining moments!

I try not to complain but sometimes it just comes natural ;) I know that right now I am living on prayer and God's strength because I am just about out! I have been so blessed to have my amazing husband who has been doing all the housework and cooking and anything that I need done! I am also blessed to have my parents here, if not for my dad I would not get where I needed to go! We have been blessed with an awesome Church family who provided meals for a week or two and amazing friends! Without the support I don't know how we would be getting through this at all! So I want to say thank you to all of you who have helped us and have prayed for us and loved on us because we have needed every bit of it and we love you all!

A slow progress

It has been one week and one day since my surgery and my grandma, my parents, and my husband tell me I am doing really well. I am having trouble, I have my good days and my bad days and I feel like I am doing good and then I feel like I am doing bad. I am able to walk around pretty good with my walker and walk iffy without it, I can shower almost by myself; I only need a little bit of help washing my back and my incisions, I can also get myself in and out of bed and go to the bathroom by myself. I am a very independent person naturally, so I have a desire to get back to my independence! It is hard for me to ask for help, even though I know that I need it.

The last couple nights I have had trouble with my sleep. I have had some really bad leg pains, not just in the right leg but also in my left leg. The right leg is going to take me a while to get complete control back because that is the side that the surgeon went in on and the nerves were moved around and that large muscle was moved as well. Since the nerves and that muscle were moved around, the site around the incision and down into my thigh and my side are partly numb. I am having trouble moving that leg and walking on it, but I am trying. My left leg hurts from my fibro so that has nothing to do with the surgery, at least I don't think it does!

So far I guess when I look at the big picture, where God has put me and what could have happened, I am doing pretty good! I am so thankful for what God has allowed to happen in my life :) Although this week has not been the easiest so far, it has been a teaching week for me and Jon. God is teaching us how to be a couple while being apart, which is not easy! Thank heaven for technology! WE have talked several times a day, and he bought me an IPad yesterday! So we got to face time from the IPad to my IPhone! It was neat! I am excited about getting to play with it this weekend!