"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
C.S. Lewis
Pain is something that every human experiences, some more than others and some longer than others. Pain comes in many forms~ Physical, emotional, mental, and even sometimes there can be a spiritual pain when you are fighting against the devil. But I feel as though I have all of the above forms of pain, and I have tried for so many years to fight and to overcome that I have somehow lost myself in the process. I have felt myself slip away to where I dont know who I am any more. My worst fear through all of these trials the last 8 years has that I would lose myself and fall into a place that I dont want to be. I fear that I am going to that place. I need to find myself again, I need to see the person that I am shine through he sadness and pain of this physical body.
So I am trying to do something that can get me out of the house and into the world and away from my own mind. so tonight I made Gluten free Low sugar Chocolate chip cookies (which are amazing!) and I forced myself to get up and do laundry and clean up the house some today. I am so thankful that I have my family and my friends to help me through these times in my life where I feel lost and helpless. But I know that God has a plan and a purpose for everything He allows to happen to me. I try to remind myself of this every day. To let myself know that I am not alone in this and that I have hope in then end of this tunnel.
I know this week is going to be a hard week for me and a very long one and I hope that we can get some answers from the doctor on Friday. And I will get to spend some time with my grandparents this weekend which will be encouraging for me. So I am off to spend some much needed time in God's word.
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