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Friday, October 2, 2009

Pondering

We came home tonight from an outdoor movie with my parents and I saw how messy my house was!!!! So I thought to myself, I should clean something! Well I cleaned up the kitchen and put a few odds and ends away and saw the stack of files from my parents house ( containing school info, medical info and misc. info) with the stack of other papers on them and I thought, "I should go through those," so I did. As I was sitting on the floor with all the piles of papers I realized something. I realized that it has been a very long journey from where my life took a turn back when I was 14 years old. One minute I was a normal teen enjoying every little thing I did, not caring if I got hurt, I knew I would heal; then the next thing I know, I injured my knee playing volleyball, and that is where it all began.

My knee was swollen like a volleyball itself!!! We went to many doctors trying to figure out what was wrong. I began to be in pain all the time, constant pain in the lower half of my body and I remember one time my mom was trying to help me stretch my legs because if I didnt stretch I couldnt feel better, or so she told me. the one thing I remember the most about that day, laying on the floor and trying to stretch, was I told my mom through my tears that it hurt to bad and I couldnt do it, She told me " Yes you can." My mom has been such an amazing mom, I couldn't have asked for better.

Well anyway, I eventually was diagnosed with Spondyloarthropathy, an arthritis of the back. I was terrified!!! I thought to myself, " I am too young for this!" There I was, a 14 year old girl who was diagnosed with arthritis. Let me tell you, it has been a rough several years. I knew that God wouldnt give me more than I could handle and it was hard to deal with the whole idea of having a disease. My freshmen year of college, I fell down the stairs, and got in a car accident. Shortly after that, I was diagnosed with a torn spinal disc.

I must say, whatever God is teaching me, i must not be getting the memo! It has been so hard to deal with pain all the time. The arthritis is very much under control, thanks to my awesome doctor ( will miss her). But my back, has been trying. I have sat and cried to God, asked him to give me strength because my is gone, and everyday He does. Life is not as easy as it was when I was 13! But God has been so very good to me. I have an awesome family who has been with me and prayed with me, prayed for me and encouraged me. And to add to all the good He has given me, He gave me my husband. The sweetest man ever!!! The whole six months we were engaged, I had so many health issues, and he was there every time.

So as I sit here and ponder my life, I do know one thing. God may have been teaching me, and I am still learning, but He is ever Blessing! He never gives up on His children!