Come to The well

There is this song from Casting Crowns called "The Well' and i think of that song quite often. It reminds me that in times of struggle and times when you think all hoe is lost, that you can go to the well of Jesus and he will sustain you. He has never left me alone to deal with my issues, He is always there for me!

Leave it all behind, 
Leave it all behind, 
Leave it all behind, 
Leave it all behind, 

I have what you need, 
But you keep on searchin, 
I've done all the work, 
But you keep on workin, 
When you're runnin on empty, 
And you can't find the remedy, 
Just come to the well.

You can spend your whole life, 
Chasin what's missing, 
But that empty inside, 
It just ain't gonna listen.
When nothing can satisfy, 
And the world leaves you high and dry, 
Just come to the well

CHORUS:
And all who thirst will thirst no more, 
And all who search will find what their souls long for, 
The world will try, but it can never fill, 
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

So bring me your heart
No matter how broken, 
Just come as you are, 
When your last prayer is spoken, 
Just rest in my arms a while, 
You'll feel the change my child, 
When you come to the well

CHORUS:
And all who thirst will thirst no more, 
And all who search will find what their souls long for, 
The world will try, but it can never fill, 
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

Yeah
Leave it all behind

The world will try, but it can never fill... leave it all behind

And now that you're full, 
Of love beyond measure, 
Your joy's gonna flow, 
Like a stream in the desert, 
Soon all the world will see that living water is found in me, 
Cuz you came to the well

CHORUS:
And all who thirst will thirst no more, 
And all who search will find what their souls long for, 
The world will try, but it can never fill, 
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

Lazy Days

Every now and then everyone has those days when they want to be completely left alone, and be lazy. I mean the kind of lazy where you keep telling yourself that you should get up and do something; like fold the laundry sitting next to you or clean the bathrooms that are nasty. Well today was one of those days for me.... After work I was completely lazy. Come to think of it, I have had these kind of days more often than usual. I guess because, well I don't know why but it is what it is :) Needless to say that tomorrow I will NOT be lazy. I will cook dinner, I will clean the house and will NOT around on the couch watching Netflix.

Please keep me in your prayers though. I have had this cold I can not kill and my back has been sore/hurting. Prayers would be appreciated!! Well until next time!

The end...The beginning....

     2012 was a hard year for me, I set out at the beginning to take back my life from the pain I live in daily. Well I did not know or never imagined the struggles I would face. Nevertheless I am here, in one piece! I prayed that the Lord would take away some of this pain and give me a chance to live a "normal" life. He delivered, just like he always does! God is so good to me, even when I doubt him and when I think that He is not listening, He is there and always good!
     The first part of the year was hard and a struggle to find some relief from the back pain I was in, but God provided a wonderful surgeon who fixed my back! I was able to have the surgery and everything went so well! I am still in therapy but that is a given considering I had major back surgery ;) It has been amazing to see the difference it has made in my life. The things I can now do that nine months ago I was not able to.
     During my recovery We found out that Jon got accepted to retrain and was being sent to Tech School, very exciting since it was an answer to prayer! June the military packed up  our things and shipped them to our new home, DOVER, DE! We moved in with mom and dad and he went away to school. Two long months later he came back and we had two weeks to be at our new home! I was scared, most definitely, but I knew that this was what God had for us and I had to accept it. Even as hard as that was. We packed the cars and made the long drive to Dover.
      So here we are, three months into our new assignment. We have a new church family, new jobs, and new friends. But one thing still stays the same, I have the same GOD! I had to find all new doctors of course and go through that whole process, which believe me is no fun! Jon and I have been talking about starting a family for a while now, and some things always come up that stop us. Main things were my health, that has always been the deciding factor of when we have a family. We decided it was time, but my body doesn't agree ;) About a month ago I got on my knees and prayed to go that he would do something about my health, because I really wanted to have a baby. I knew that I couldn't have one with two illness and a recent back surgery. A week later I had my follow up visit with my Rhuematalogist  and comes to find out, my arthritis is in FULL REMISSION!!! A complete answer to my prayer! I knew then that my God really does hear me and listens to my desires!!!
      So I am so blessed to say that my journey to take back control of my life was a success, not a complete one, but a small step toward a bigger goal!!!! 2012 was not easy, but here is to 2013 and it being an amazing year for the Rectors!!!!!

Defining moments

Sometimes we all have those moments in life where we can look back and say that at that exact moment are life changed, or at that exact moment we made a decision that changed something in our lives. I can say that I have only had a few, but I can say that here recently I have had some defining moments as far as my health and my life go!

When we decided to go ahead with this surgery it was definitely a life changing decision. I had no idea how hard this recovery was going to be! I knew that it would take some time to get my strength back and time to walk again, but I never dreamed that it would be like this! This journey that I started this year has been hard, this leg of it has been the hardest by far!

Because of the healing process that needs to take place in my back I cant take my anti-inflammatory (aka: anti- swelling :) ) medicine for the arthritis for six months! I also cant take the other medication until 8 weeks after the surgery. So needless to say that the last five and a half weeks have been utter torture for me! The pain from my back may be better but I have pain in my legs that is almost unbearable! I have to ice my feet multiple times a day because they are so swollen. My legs and feet look like pregnant people feet!

On Monday it will be six weeks since my surgery and I am still having to use a walker/cane to get around because I have limited balance on my own and my legs hurt so badly! I am still in therapy trying to get full use of my own to legs and full strength back which absolutely kicking my butt! Things have just been rough around these parts! My defining moment was last week on Wednesday I was sitting in church and talking to my mom about shopping for matching outfits and I thought to myself that I did not want to have a walker when I did that! and that was it! My moment when I said I want to go to therapy and tell them to get me off that thing! So I did, and they put me on a cane and started me toward a goal. Goals are what drive us toward our future! Goals are what drive us to our defining moments!

I try not to complain but sometimes it just comes natural ;) I know that right now I am living on prayer and God's strength because I am just about out! I have been so blessed to have my amazing husband who has been doing all the housework and cooking and anything that I need done! I am also blessed to have my parents here, if not for my dad I would not get where I needed to go! We have been blessed with an awesome Church family who provided meals for a week or two and amazing friends! Without the support I don't know how we would be getting through this at all! So I want to say thank you to all of you who have helped us and have prayed for us and loved on us because we have needed every bit of it and we love you all!

A slow progress

It has been one week and one day since my surgery and my grandma, my parents, and my husband tell me I am doing really well. I am having trouble, I have my good days and my bad days and I feel like I am doing good and then I feel like I am doing bad. I am able to walk around pretty good with my walker and walk iffy without it, I can shower almost by myself; I only need a little bit of help washing my back and my incisions, I can also get myself in and out of bed and go to the bathroom by myself. I am a very independent person naturally, so I have a desire to get back to my independence! It is hard for me to ask for help, even though I know that I need it.

The last couple nights I have had trouble with my sleep. I have had some really bad leg pains, not just in the right leg but also in my left leg. The right leg is going to take me a while to get complete control back because that is the side that the surgeon went in on and the nerves were moved around and that large muscle was moved as well. Since the nerves and that muscle were moved around, the site around the incision and down into my thigh and my side are partly numb. I am having trouble moving that leg and walking on it, but I am trying. My left leg hurts from my fibro so that has nothing to do with the surgery, at least I don't think it does!

So far I guess when I look at the big picture, where God has put me and what could have happened, I am doing pretty good! I am so thankful for what God has allowed to happen in my life :) Although this week has not been the easiest so far, it has been a teaching week for me and Jon. God is teaching us how to be a couple while being apart, which is not easy! Thank heaven for technology! WE have talked several times a day, and he bought me an IPad yesterday! So we got to face time from the IPad to my IPhone! It was neat! I am excited about getting to play with it this weekend!

First Hospital Stay & Major Surgery

This week has been the first time I have had an major surgery. I must say, I was VERY scared! God was good as always and he provided as always and took care of me as always!

Sunday afternoon we traveled to Anna, Tx. to spend the evening with my grandparents since my surgery was early in the morning on Monday. I did not get any sleep that night, partly because I was afraid that I was going to oversleep my alarm, and partly because I was anxious about the operation! When the alarm went off at 3:30 a.am I shut mine off an snoozed Jon's. I eventually got up at 3:50 and decided I would wash my face and brush my teeth and get dressed. By time I was done with that Jon was awake and getting dressed. I was ready to spend some time in prayer and read my Bible before I went and got cut open! After all that, We loaded up the car and headed to the hospital.

Once we found the hospital and got me registered I called my mom. My mom prayed with me and talked with me to calm me down, I was very nervous, and told me she loved me and hung up. By then it was almost time for us to go up to the day surgery area and get situated to get ready for the surgery. Once we were in the holding room, and I had gotten changed, and into the bed and under the nice warm blanket, it was freezing in there!, I did some praying of my own in my head!Jon and I talked and hung out and waited until my grandma got there and then we hung with here. My grandma's pastor came by around 7 that morning and talked with me and prayed with all of us. It was so nice of him to come! After my iv was in and my blood was drawn, we waited some more. The doctor had an emergency so we had to wait on that. He finally came in and talked with me and very shortly after that the nurses came by and said they were ready for me.

It was around 9:15 or so when they rolled my bed out of holding and I told Jon I loved him. I watched the halls pass as we went to the OR, and when we got to the OR all I remember is the doctors and the equipment and them putting me on the table and that was all. Then I remember waking up in recovery and being completely confused and didn't know where I was! I couldn't talk because my throat hurt and I was saying things but the words were not coming out! Then I saw a nurse and it hit me where I was and what was going on! I was trying to ask for water but the words wouldn't come out, but fortunately the nurse understood me! I remember being very shaky and almost felt like I was having a panic attack and them having to give me something for it. Then around 1 p.m I remember looking at the clock and being in my room, and there were a bunch of people working on the tv, apparently the dvd player was not working!, and then I was in and out all day.

The days after that are very clear for me, but I know that I was in some serious pain! I did not want to move, or get out of the bed. the second day the therapist tried to sit me up and it made me so dizzy and sick that he had to lay me back down! I eventually was able to get up and move. and walk with help or a walker. I have very little strength in my legs. I also have very little balance right now. The doctor has me doing rehab for a couple weeks. I must say that my bladder is having a hard time recovering from the catheter! LOL I am not doing as well as the doctors would have liked, which is why I need to stay in Texas with my grandma for a while to do rehab. I am, however doing better than I thought I would be doing! I am able to do some things on my own, but of course there are things that are going to be hard considering I just had major back surgery! Praise the Lord that I am not paralyzed or anything worse!

Some neat things that did happen is that I did get to ride home from the hospital in a wheelchair transport! It was pretty neat! And I did get some Beautiful flowers! I also got a coloring book

a word finder book from the hospital! Also my grandma's pastor came to visit again after my surgery!

It has been such a blessing to have all the phone calls, texts and Facebook posts from my friends and family. I am truly blessed! Thank you to all! I especially want to thank my Husband, parents and my grandparents! They have been such rocks throughout this week and will be through the next coming weeks! It will be hard not being with my husband these next couple weeks during my rehab but being at my grandma's house will allow him and my parents to come visit! I love you all and thank you all for the prayers and please keep them coming!!

Getting prepared!

This week I have been focused on cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning!!! I have never been more tired of cleaning in my life!!!! I wanted my house to be completely spotless before I left for surgery so that my husband didn't have to do it! But boy is it exhausting! Although it is nice to come home to a nice clean feeling and a clean smell! In two days I have manged to almost clean my entire house! Yay me!

I also have had to finish my class work for a certification program that I started last year! I am almost done with that, I have finished my sewing projects, and still managed to function! Wow, only with God's help is all I can say! All I need to finish now is take my final for my class, go to the grocery store and clean my bathroom! pack my bags and I am ready for this next adventure God has prepared! It is so nice to know that I have a God that is taking care of me! He is providing in ways that are unimaginable to me! Now all I have to do is make it through the next five days, which are going to be tough!, and the Lord will make my back better!