Day #5

Well...Not much more to say than what I posted about my Starbucks earlier. Except that I am feeling ok today. Not great But not horrible either. I have managed to cook dinner every night this week which I am very proud of myself! So I hope you have a good night!

They joys in life

There are some the simple things in life that just make your day better! Starbucks is one those things! I went to the doctor to this morning and after my extremely fast visit I decided I wanted Starbucks.

Since my new lifestyle, I mean diet, change I thought that I could not have Starbucks any more! I thought life was over!!!! But then one night my mom took me shopping and enlightened me that I could have it made decaf and Skinny (sugar free!) I was ecstatic!

So today when I get to Starbucks I found I order my Peppermint Mocha, Decaf, skinny and no whip. I get my drink and when I go to sip it, my face just twists! I knew that it was so not Decaf!!! I asked the lady if she made it decaf and she said "No." I promptly asked her to remake it! I had to laugh at my self! I can now tell the difference between decaf and caffeine! I found it funny that when you take yourself off certain things that over a certain period that you can find the difference!

A Good Day! ~ Day #4

So for those of you who know me, you know that I am a major
Oreo Fan!! Love them like no other!!! So when the doctor told me no sugar that was the first that that crossed my mind..."I can't have Oreo's..." I was suddenly saddened by that fact. Well today I went to Wal-mart and found me some sugar-free Oreos!! Oh My how it made my day a little bit brighter! It is the little things in life that can make realize that I can do this!

So now that I am done telling you about my love of Oreos, my day was pretty good! Well...Minus work, which never seems to be good these day! After work I went and met

my best friend Elizabeth for some lunch and much needed catch up time before she heads of to school for her last semester before her graduation. It was so good to see her!! I have really missed her these past couple years!

After my little lunch date I headed off to Wal-mart (where I found my oreos!) to get some mirrors for a little home artsy project! I had some old candle holders and some sand and seashells and wanted to make a centerpiece!

So I would say That I have had a really good day! I have budgeted my energy well today and I have not had to much pain and I have done fairly well on my diet! so here is to a good day and hopefully many many more!!!

Oh and P.S. I Loved the Oreos! cant even Tell they are Sugar Free!!!!! LOL :) And I am praying tomorrow is a good day too!

The Well~ By Casting Crowns

My mom brought this song to me the other day and I listened to it and fell in love with it instantly. I am already A Casting Crowns fan but this song speaks to me in ways that other songs cant. When I hear this song I am reminded that during all this craziness in life I can always go to the WELL! God's Well gives me life, love, laughter, and everything I need for this life! If you haven't heard the song, don't just read these lyrics- go right now to Google and find it and listen and it will surely speak to you like it did me!

Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricenter.com/e56459-casting_crowns~the_well_lyrics.html ]
I have what you need, but you keep on searching
I've done all the work, but you keep on working
When you're running on empty
And you can't find the remedy
Just come to the well
You can spend your whole life
Chasing what's missing
But that empty inside, it just ain't gonna listen
When nothing can satisfy
And the world leaves you high and dry
Just come to the well

And all who thirst will thirst no more
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well

So bring me your heart, no matter how broken
Just come as you are, when your last prayer is spoken
Just rest in my arms a while
You'll feel a change, my child
When you come to the well

And all who thirst will thirst no more
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well

The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind

And now that you're full of love beyond measure
Your joy's gonna flow like a stream in the desert
Soon all the world will see
Living water is found in me
‘Cause you've come to the well

And all who thirst will thirst no more
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well
Leave it all behind
And come to the well

Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind

Your pursuit of perfection (leave it all behind)
Your fear of rejection (leave it all behind)
Your temporary pleasures (leave it all behind)
All your earthly treasures (leave it all behind)
Dried up empty religion (leave it all behind)
Rusty chains of addiction (leave it all behind)
All the guilt that weighs you down (leave it all behind)
Just leave it all behind and come to the well

Mush of a day~Day#3

Well today is what I think I am gonna start calling a mush of a day. It Started out pretty good and is ending pretty bad. I woke up around 9 this morning and decided to make some gluten free muffins (with real blue berries!) Even though they weren't that low in sugar, they were still pretty good. After my daily dose of Bible reading and prayer I started my day. Did some sewing and mostly rested. About one this afternoon I began to feel kinda yucky.which for me is no good. I went to work at around three today and still not feeling well. I thought that I could push through it.

An hour later, it was very busy and of course I had a headache and my entire body hurt and at the same time every single customer was getting on my nerves! I felt like I was being pushed over the edge of my emotional cliff. I excused myself and went to the bathroom and sat on the floor and prayed for strength and prayed that God would help the pain. Of course I could not help but let the tears flow. I was ruining my makeup!! was the first thing I thought! How can I go back out there with my face all messed up? but I did, and of course my boss walks over and asks how I am doing and hugs me and I lose it all over again! She asks If I can make it till closing and I look at her through my tears and shake my head no.

So hear I am at home on my couch writing this post, laying on my heating pad. I have taken my meds and am feeling a little better. I am truly blessed that God gave me a supportive husband who helped me with the things I couldnt do because of the pain and helped me get settled on the couch and comfy.

So I will say that today was not a triumph or a victory or a failure today was simply mush. I cant say that it was a set back because I don't feel as though it was. But I do feel like it was mush!! So now I am really glad dinner is in the crockpot and I can lay here for the rest of the night!!

The beginning Day #2

Well Its the second day of 2012 and I think that I have had a rocky start to this whole taking back my life thing! So let's see on Sunday, which was New Years, I awoke to the fact that I could not move and decided that church was just not going to happen. I was extremely sad about that by the way! I really did want to start my year right! In church worshiping my Lord! But instead I was stuck in my bed with my heating pad, which has become my really good friend! ;)I was able to read my daily reading from the Bible that day and spent some much needed time with God. But on the brighter side (A side I am learning to look at more often) I was able to get up and go have lunch with my parents at their house and go to my cousins birthday party. It wasn't a total waste of a day!

Now Today was completely different than yesterday! How crazy is it that Satan always attacks my body and I hurt more on God's day than any other day! Today I was able to sleep in with my hubby and make breakfast together this morning!! Well Actually it was more of a brunch LOL!

This Journey that I am on is not going to be an easy one this year, that is for sure! Things will be very different for me and my husband as we start to take my life back from the Fibromyalgia, the arthritis, and the back pain. But this one thing I do know~ God is with me, each and ever single step of the way. I have my Husband, who without I would be lost and have no hope. I have my family who supports me and loves me. I have my church family who prays for me and my friends who love and pray for me. So I know that I am not alone, and I have never been alone, never once in these 8 years have I ever had to go through any of this alone. God has truly blessed!

The main things that are going to change to begin with are my diet~ I am no longer allowed to eat the amount of sugar that I LOVE!!!!!!!! It has been HORRIBLE!!!! No Sweet Tea, Soda, Milk, or juices. I am also no longer allowed to eat anything with Gluten in it~ which means no, pasta, breads, crackers, cheez its :( or any type of bread product. This has been one of the toughest changes for me! Having to read the labels of everything I buy = more time in the grocery store! But with all the help and support and prayer I can do it!

We are starting our year with a clean house and clean minds and clean hearts! We are ready for whatever God has to teach us this year! we are ready to Grow in the Knowledge of God's grace!

Pondering

We came home tonight from an outdoor movie with my parents and I saw how messy my house was!!!! So I thought to myself, I should clean something! Well I cleaned up the kitchen and put a few odds and ends away and saw the stack of files from my parents house ( containing school info, medical info and misc. info) with the stack of other papers on them and I thought, "I should go through those," so I did. As I was sitting on the floor with all the piles of papers I realized something. I realized that it has been a very long journey from where my life took a turn back when I was 14 years old. One minute I was a normal teen enjoying every little thing I did, not caring if I got hurt, I knew I would heal; then the next thing I know, I injured my knee playing volleyball, and that is where it all began.

My knee was swollen like a volleyball itself!!! We went to many doctors trying to figure out what was wrong. I began to be in pain all the time, constant pain in the lower half of my body and I remember one time my mom was trying to help me stretch my legs because if I didnt stretch I couldnt feel better, or so she told me. the one thing I remember the most about that day, laying on the floor and trying to stretch, was I told my mom through my tears that it hurt to bad and I couldnt do it, She told me " Yes you can." My mom has been such an amazing mom, I couldn't have asked for better.

Well anyway, I eventually was diagnosed with Spondyloarthropathy, an arthritis of the back. I was terrified!!! I thought to myself, " I am too young for this!" There I was, a 14 year old girl who was diagnosed with arthritis. Let me tell you, it has been a rough several years. I knew that God wouldnt give me more than I could handle and it was hard to deal with the whole idea of having a disease. My freshmen year of college, I fell down the stairs, and got in a car accident. Shortly after that, I was diagnosed with a torn spinal disc.

I must say, whatever God is teaching me, i must not be getting the memo! It has been so hard to deal with pain all the time. The arthritis is very much under control, thanks to my awesome doctor ( will miss her). But my back, has been trying. I have sat and cried to God, asked him to give me strength because my is gone, and everyday He does. Life is not as easy as it was when I was 13! But God has been so very good to me. I have an awesome family who has been with me and prayed with me, prayed for me and encouraged me. And to add to all the good He has given me, He gave me my husband. The sweetest man ever!!! The whole six months we were engaged, I had so many health issues, and he was there every time.

So as I sit here and ponder my life, I do know one thing. God may have been teaching me, and I am still learning, but He is ever Blessing! He never gives up on His children!