Sometimes we all have those moments in life where we can look back and say that at that exact moment are life changed, or at that exact moment we made a decision that changed something in our lives. I can say that I have only had a few, but I can say that here recently I have had some defining moments as far as my health and my life go!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Defining moments
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Tuesday, March 13, 2012
A slow progress
It has been one week and one day since my surgery and my grandma, my parents, and my husband tell me I am doing really well. I am having trouble, I have my good days and my bad days and I feel like I am doing good and then I feel like I am doing bad. I am able to walk around pretty good with my walker and walk iffy without it, I can shower almost by myself; I only need a little bit of help washing my back and my incisions, I can also get myself in and out of bed and go to the bathroom by myself. I am a very independent person naturally, so I have a desire to get back to my independence! It is hard for me to ask for help, even though I know that I need it.
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Friday, March 9, 2012
First Hospital Stay & Major Surgery
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Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Getting prepared!
This week I have been focused on cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning!!! I have never been more tired of cleaning in my life!!!! I wanted my house to be completely spotless before I left for surgery so that my husband didn't have to do it! But boy is it exhausting! Although it is nice to come home to a nice clean feeling and a clean smell! In two days I have manged to almost clean my entire house! Yay me!
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Sunday, February 26, 2012
I just don't understand..maybe that is the point
Have you ever felt that you just don't understand why things are going a certain way, and that it seems like it could be going better? Well that is how I am feeling lately... I know we have a lot of good things about to happen for us and I know they are REALLY good things but at the same time there are all these little things that creep up that I feel could go better. Like today for example, I woke up with a sore throat and a runny nose, well if I get sick before this surgery they will have to postpone it. Which may not sound bad to some people, but that is not good for me! I feel like this couldn't have happened at a worse time! I have been doing everything in my power to fight it off today but atlas, its in God's hands not mine. You see, that is the hard part to swallow! The fact that it is in His hands an not mine! The fact that I don't control what happens! Maybe God wants me to not understand, maybe he wants me to just fall apart and say "OK fine, I get it!" Maybe He wants us to know that he has a hold us of at every given moment in our lives! Yes, things are not going exactly as I would like, but they are going as God would like them to!
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Saturday, February 25, 2012
Pondering
Lately I have had so many things going on that I feel like I have been going non stop trying to get everything accomplished! I have been pondering all these things going on around me, things going on in my life, things going on inside me that I have no control over. I have a very large tendency to worry about things way more than I should. My husband has given me the title of "Worry Wort" :) Which it is sadly true! I do worry, I don't do well with not knowing what is coming my way! With this surgery only a week away and my husbands cross training months away, the unknown is not for from me! I don't like the unknown! I am scared of it, and that fear sometimes turns to frustration because I can't control what is coming.
Posted by Unknown at 9:02 PM 0 comments
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Where there is a WILL there is a WAY!
The title of the sermon tonight was "Where there is a Will, there is a Way." That got me thinking of how true that is in my life! I have always been what most people call stubborn, or hard headed. I don't consider myself either one. I see myself as a fighter, independent, self-sufficient. That is also what my parents would call the "Bass Blood" coming out in me! I like to do thing on my own, I have never been the type of person to come out and admit that I need help with something. I will be the first person that jumps to help someone else though, but when it comes to my needs, well let's just say..."I got it!" Here lately with all this pain I have been in it has been such a struggle for me to be the independent person that I am. I have had to depend on my husband and my family, and yes sometimes my co-workers for help. It's hard for me to step back and say I can't do it all on my own anymore. Having people tell me to let them know if there is anything they can do for us when we get home from the hospital is something that I have a hard time answering! I want to be dependent, I want us to be able to handle it on our own, but I know that we wont be able to, and that God has placed wonderful people in our lives for a reason!
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Thursday, February 16, 2012
God Working!
Isn't it amazing to sit back and watch God work! I have been told many times in my life that I need to just let go and sit back and let God take care of things, let Him answer my prayers. The past several weeks has been so awesome! It has been one after the other! We got the call about Jon being able to retrain (huge answer!) and then yesterday at the surgeons office we got another answer!
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Saturday, February 11, 2012
Vows..
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Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Change in the wind
Sometimes change is just what the doctor ordered. Although not everyone deals with change the same, change is still sometimes the answer to what we need. For me, Change is good and it is coming sooner than I could have imagined!
Posted by Unknown at 8:57 PM 0 comments
Thursday, February 2, 2012
An energetic day!
So today I went to the doctor for follow up and the doctor decided that he would give me B12 pills, hoping that it would give me some energy. I took the pills this morning and surprisingly, they have made me feel "alive" as I would like to call it. I had so much energy at work, I was more awake! It was not a day without pain, but It was a day with energy which is good! Then I found out that I got a raise, and a small bonus at work! So all in all it was a good day! I have not had a good day in a long time!
Posted by Unknown at 5:25 PM 0 comments
Monday, January 30, 2012
The power of music
Some people say that music has no power, but I have to disagree. I believe that music has some of the most power in our lives. It has the power to affect our mood,touch our hearts, inspire us, change our minds, makes us fall in love, and so many other things. More than anything else, music has the power to speak to us spiritually. God speaks to his people in many ways and I know that music is one of the most powerful ways. Worship services at church are all about music and that is when God stirs my heart most often. Not just in church, but it can be in the car too!
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Saturday, January 28, 2012
Resting
Resting, something that I have always struggled with. There is such a small difference in resting and sleeping. My sleeping habits have never been consistent, well I wont say never. Just not in a long time. Here lately since my husband has been on swing shift I have been up later so I have been sleeping in late, which actually works to my advantage. My body sleeps better during the day anyway!! The point I am trying to make is that I have always struggled with finding the difference between getting the rest I need and the sleep I need.
Posted by Unknown at 8:27 PM 0 comments
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Just Breathe
Sometimes I find myself so overwhelmed with the drama and stress of work, and dealing with my health and sometimes just life in general can get so chaotic that I have to tell myself that I need to just breathe. Breathe in and breathe out, just over and over again. Sometimes it works in relaxing me and sometimes it doesn't. The last several days, well actually weeks, have been quite tough for me. I have not felt well and can't figure it out and work has been tough ( I won't even go there!) so I can say that I feel like I have been pretty much just going through the motions lately. I have almost come out of the deep whole of "almost" depression, but I still have my days where I am sad and want to quit the battle that I fight every day within. On those days I have to say to myself "Katie, Just breathe, its going to be OK. You can do this. God has got this!" No, it doesn't take away all the sadness, nor does it by any means make me feel better but it does remind me that I have a big God that is on my side!
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Wednesday, January 25, 2012
A Rainbow of Promises :)
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Monday, January 23, 2012
My life in one sentence... "A Working Progress"
Well Let's just say that is has been a very long and exhausting day, and it's not done yet. Since my husband is working all night, he sleeps during the day which would not be so bad if I was not home during the day! But alas I am so any housework I want to get done must get done at night while he is at work. So my days are flip flopped! I rest and relax in the morning and clean at night!
Posted by Unknown at 8:02 PM 0 comments
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Taking it easy...
Its been a few days since I have put anything up here, and there has actually been many things on my mind but I guess I needed some time to sort through my thoughts. The hardest lesson I have been trying to learn in life is that I have no "real" control over anything, God does. So when I am feeling bad and I can't seem to find the answers or the doctors are not helping, or it seems that way, I get frustrated and nothing goes the right way. Well I am learning to do thing s differently. I am going to call it "taking it easy" which means that I am no longer going to worry about what the answers are or when the will come, because I trust that my God is going to give me the answers when He is ready for me to hear them! It is hard to just sit back and take a moment and just let the answers come to me, it has never been my strongest area! But God knows my weaknesses and my strengths and He know what I can handle and what I can't!
Posted by Unknown at 8:04 PM 0 comments
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Hope
This little book was given to me from my pastors wife yesterday. It gave me such a smile when I opened it up and read the note she wrote me and the read the first chapter! It is filled with encouraging quotes and scriptures all about HOPE! WOW! Boy did I need that more than ever, and I love how my God works through other people!
Posted by Unknown at 8:40 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
If You Want Me To
I have had this song on my heart for a while. The lyrics speak so truly of my life, I am not who I was when I first began my journey of faith. God never promised that we would have it easy in this life, But he did promise that we didn't have to do it alone! Isn't that the best thing any Christian can ask for? I know that I can't make it to the finish line on my own, I get weak and tired and I need my God to sustain me. When I looked this song up on the internet I thought of a friend that is on bedrest because of some complications with her pregnancy, and another friend who just had he baby early, and yet another friend who also had her baby early. There are many people that I know that I walking through the "fire" and I hope that they read this blog and listen to this song and God encourages their heart, as it encourages mine. This song gives me the push I need sometimes to keep going, even when I feel like there is nothing left in me, I can pray and know that I am not alone and God is going to pull me through the "fire."
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Sunday, January 15, 2012
Trust in the Lord
Psalm 7:1
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Saturday, January 14, 2012
Whatever You're Doing.....
It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Posted by Unknown at 9:12 PM 0 comments
Friday, January 13, 2012
A reminder of what is to come....
The last several weeks I have been so tired that I just cant seem to keep my eyes open at times. I have been falling asleep while driving, in church, at work and it just seems like my body is shutting down when that happens. On Wednesday I talked to my mom at church about it and she decided that she would drive me home that night. Well on the way home she was telling me that when she was first trying to control her blood sugar that when it got to low she had the same experience that I am having. She told me that I should monitor my sugar levels for a while and see if they were low and if that was causing my fatigue. She gave me one of her extra monitor things and I have been keeping track of it since Thursday night. It has been considerably low for me, and has not been consistent. So I have been trying to keep it level and keep myself on my feet, but it has not been easy. I have been so tired that the slightest thing makes me exhausted. But needles to say that I am trying and that I know God has a reason for what He does!
Posted by Unknown at 9:35 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Little things can make you smile
I have been in such a "Funk" lately that I thought all hope of anything making me truly smile was gone; until today. This morning when I was doing my devotions and prayer time I prayed that God would help me find a way to make me smile and truly be happy. That I could slowly find my way out of this what seems like darkness that I have been in. So When I got off work today I went to check the mail like I do every day and I saw a card addressed to us in a kids handwriting. When I looked closer I saw that it was from our nieces. They had simply wrote us a letter that said they loved us. That was all. And the Smile and almost tears that it brings to my face makes me know that there is hope for me and that God is working. Satan has no hold over me! Not when I get on my knees before my God! I am so thankful that he could use my little nieces to make me feel better! So I want to say thank you to them, thank you for loving us as your aunt and uncle! Thank you for thinking about us! and we miss all three of you so much!
Posted by Unknown at 9:11 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
A Faith that saves!
"Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed,My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O LORD, how long? Return, O LORD, deliver my soul: oh save me for thy mercies' sake." Psalm 6:2-4
Posted by Unknown at 10:14 PM 0 comments
Sunday, January 8, 2012
A weight that needs to be lifted...Day # 8
"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
C.S. Lewis
Pain is something that every human experiences, some more than others and some longer than others. Pain comes in many forms~ Physical, emotional, mental, and even sometimes there can be a spiritual pain when you are fighting against the devil. But I feel as though I have all of the above forms of pain, and I have tried for so many years to fight and to overcome that I have somehow lost myself in the process. I have felt myself slip away to where I dont know who I am any more. My worst fear through all of these trials the last 8 years has that I would lose myself and fall into a place that I dont want to be. I fear that I am going to that place. I need to find myself again, I need to see the person that I am shine through he sadness and pain of this physical body.
So I am trying to do something that can get me out of the house and into the world and away from my own mind. so tonight I made Gluten free Low sugar Chocolate chip cookies (which are amazing!) and I forced myself to get up and do laundry and clean up the house some today. I am so thankful that I have my family and my friends to help me through these times in my life where I feel lost and helpless. But I know that God has a plan and a purpose for everything He allows to happen to me. I try to remind myself of this every day. To let myself know that I am not alone in this and that I have hope in then end of this tunnel.
I know this week is going to be a hard week for me and a very long one and I hope that we can get some answers from the doctor on Friday. And I will get to spend some time with my grandparents this weekend which will be encouraging for me. So I am off to spend some much needed time in God's word.
Posted by Unknown at 7:30 PM 0 comments
Friday, January 6, 2012
Learning a new way to budget.....Day# 6
One of the main things that doctors will tell any patient that is newly diagnosed with fibromyalgia is that fatigue is somthing that you will have to learn to manage. Well, when I decided that I was gonna take back my life this year I began to do some research on fibro. One of the things I learned that has been I think one of the hardest to learn to do is "budget" my energy. Because with me, I don't have any energy during the day, well let me rephrase that, I have some energy but not very much. So it is very important that I decide what is important and what is less important...and so forth. Well for me it's tough, finding that balance that is just right to where when I get home I am not so exhausted and hurting so much that I just want to lay down and do nothing the rest of the day.
Posted by Unknown at 8:16 PM 0 comments
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Day #5
Well...Not much more to say than what I posted about my Starbucks earlier. Except that I am feeling ok today. Not great But not horrible either. I have managed to cook dinner every night this week which I am very proud of myself! So I hope you have a good night!
Posted by Unknown at 8:16 PM 0 comments
They joys in life
There are some the simple things in life that just make your day better! Starbucks is one those things! I went to the doctor to this morning and after my extremely fast visit I decided I wanted Starbucks.
Posted by Unknown at 12:02 PM 0 comments
Labels: Funny Moments
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
A Good Day! ~ Day #4
So for those of you who know me, you know that I am a major
Oreo Fan!! Love them like no other!!! So when the doctor told me no sugar that was the first that that crossed my mind..."I can't have Oreo's..." I was suddenly saddened by that fact. Well today I went to Wal-mart and found me some sugar-free Oreos!! Oh My how it made my day a little bit brighter! It is the little things in life that can make realize that I can do this!
Posted by Unknown at 8:58 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The Well~ By Casting Crowns
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricenter.com/e56459-casting_crowns~the_well_lyrics.html ]
I have what you need, but you keep on searching
I've done all the work, but you keep on working
When you're running on empty
And you can't find the remedy
Just come to the well
You can spend your whole life
Chasing what's missing
But that empty inside, it just ain't gonna listen
When nothing can satisfy
And the world leaves you high and dry
Just come to the well
And all who thirst will thirst no more
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well
So bring me your heart, no matter how broken
Just come as you are, when your last prayer is spoken
Just rest in my arms a while
You'll feel a change, my child
When you come to the well
And all who thirst will thirst no more
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And now that you're full of love beyond measure
Your joy's gonna flow like a stream in the desert
Soon all the world will see
Living water is found in me
‘Cause you've come to the well
And all who thirst will thirst no more
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well
Leave it all behind
And come to the well
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
Your pursuit of perfection (leave it all behind)
Your fear of rejection (leave it all behind)
Your temporary pleasures (leave it all behind)
All your earthly treasures (leave it all behind)
Dried up empty religion (leave it all behind)
Rusty chains of addiction (leave it all behind)
All the guilt that weighs you down (leave it all behind)
Just leave it all behind and come to the well
Posted by Unknown at 8:30 PM 0 comments
Mush of a day~Day#3
Well today is what I think I am gonna start calling a mush of a day. It Started out pretty good and is ending pretty bad. I woke up around 9 this morning and decided to make some gluten free muffins (with real blue berries!) Even though they weren't that low in sugar, they were still pretty good. After my daily dose of Bible reading and prayer I started my day. Did some sewing and mostly rested. About one this afternoon I began to feel kinda yucky.which for me is no good. I went to work at around three today and still not feeling well. I thought that I could push through it.
Posted by Unknown at 3:47 PM 0 comments
Monday, January 2, 2012
The beginning Day #2
Well Its the second day of 2012 and I think that I have had a rocky start to this whole taking back my life thing! So let's see on Sunday, which was New Years, I awoke to the fact that I could not move and decided that church was just not going to happen. I was extremely sad about that by the way! I really did want to start my year right! In church worshiping my Lord! But instead I was stuck in my bed with my heating pad, which has become my really good friend! ;)I was able to read my daily reading from the Bible that day and spent some much needed time with God. But on the brighter side (A side I am learning to look at more often) I was able to get up and go have lunch with my parents at their house and go to my cousins birthday party. It wasn't a total waste of a day!
Posted by Unknown at 8:54 PM 0 comments